Ebola 3

Dear Villebilingue,

#ebola … #guinea … #sierra leone #liberia … #Nigeria #Patrick Sawyer …

Just had to start with the hash tags and trending countries. Of all places, Nigeria! To think that my colleagues seemingly escaped from Ebola! and Ebola 2 only to meet it here in our Naija.

“Baby, I am worried”, said Zina as she snuggled closer to her boyfriend, Tade. She had to be worried. With all the talks of Ebola and that guy that died at the Obalende Hospital. The idea of squeezing into a public bus and stuck in traffic with sweaty strangers made her skin crawl.

“Yes dear, why the wrinkles”? Asked Tade. He was thinking of the twelve days to payday alert and hoping she had no monetary demands.

Zina responded bluntly, “we need a car, I can’t stand the idea of contracting this Ebola virus or you too! I’m tired of going into a panic each time people come near us especially in public.”
She wasn’t through with the rants. “You know how nigerians can be? Very soon, fake bleach and hand sanitizers will be everywhere. And they will be insulting you anyhow if you don’t shake their hands or eat with them!”

Poor Tade was left wondering about the relationship between car and her rants.
“Look baby, no more public bus and smelly taxi or okada again o! We cannot be sitting like sardine inside hot bus ooo… I cannot carry hankerchief to cover face if somebody sneeze”. “Now you know why we need a car.” She finished smugly.

So VB, Ebola is here in Nigeria and as usual Creative Nigerians will not be left behind. See below:

From a particular fm radio station in Naija:

I just heard that-

​Bitter-Kola has been internationally verified to cure Ebola. Anyone who suspects they are in danger of catching it is advised to consume it. It is like food and there is no overdose.Simply peel and chew!May God protect us all, amen!

And these pictures :-

For more info on ebola, my swag friends do remember that google.com is your friend.

Any more ebolacious comment or joke??

Ebola 2

‘I dey ooooooo’ Mallory screamed into the phone. ‘Hian! Are you not coming back home?’ Her aunty exclaimed. She had every reason to talk because we were yet to return back to Naija*.

The door slammed and we knew who was there, that was Femi. Bible talk say by their fruits we shall know them. Na true talk be that.

“My hands stink of bleach”, those were his first words. What was he expecting? We just couldn’t leave the country as a lot of things were at stake.

So here we are enjoying the scenery from the windows of the car.

The news of ebola came as a rude shock but as more cases were reported, it became a scare. “Water, soap!” , Adey screamed. “A client shook my hand, argh, ebola!

The fear was that bad. You could taste it. We had to work but  maintain the highest hygiene possible. AC remain constantly on. Sweat forbidden! You mustn’t touch me with your sweat. Hugs and Kisses n ko? Abeg i no need quarantine for airport.

No sharing of cups but I did go to a certain site, they had a water dispenser with a stainless cup available for use and everybody who didn’t have a cup made exquisite use of it.

He used that cup!

This bola ebola shook the people of guinea and so we began to see things like this to help keep us safe from ebola.

He is in charge of dispensing the bleach solution

Stop and wash.

We no geh tap, but we fit use cup pour am..

Naija babe no dey carry last – Dettol : mix of bleach and liquid soap; Blue : hand sanitizer

Abeg as olay, dove, avon, nivea hand cream no fit kill ebola. Hand sanitizer is your best friend!

Did I tell you that some people went as far as washing their faces, necks, arms with the bleach solution? They did but hey you can’t take pictures of them doing that!

XOXO…

*naija – slang word for Nigeria