Sneak Peek

So Nigeria is in recession?? Should my thoughts go into recession?

The picture above is my daily set up. I discovered that I sometimes cheat on my 09-05 work. Yes, my side hustle crashes in and my ever flowing thoughts invade my office time.

No stories here but rather than continue to cry how hard the country has become, or the cost of rice in the market? we should begin to think outside the box on what we can offer the general public and how we intend to thrive  in this tough times that we live in.

Did you notice the wave of writing workshops? And increasing number of e-books published? Okadabooks is definitely giving publishers a run for their money and writers are adding value to their gift and passion.

Me?? I will be birthing ideas soonest. Afterall, man go still sleep, wake up, chop, work and play.

No time for pity parties. 

Advertisements

…Of Body Smells and Halitosis

This has no business with my love for all things bilingual. I just have to say it because I am tired of it all.😠

Its becoming a daily affair encountering folks with stinky armpits and oozing cavities.

How do you explain this picture? Young, well dressed dude smiling at you, suddenly opens his mouth to say “Hi”, you are hit by fishy breathe that makes you wanna gag. 

Or sitting in the bus, dude comes to sit beside and suddenly you are gasping for air! Men but why??? Some stink so bad that merely their shirt touching you makes u feel heat from their armpit.

Last I checked, centre fresh gum cost #5, well if you have elevated taste buds, mentos, orbit gum await you. For the “posh” stinkers, mouth fresheners are readily available. 

No man on earth has the right to smelly armpits and sweat stained shirts!!! Cheap “hausa” perfumes are very much available. “Shaving stick” na #30. Abeg spare my nose and skin from these avoidable stinks. 

Ha! Every fine dude smiling at me or coming close is a suspect!!

Guys, changing your undershirts/boxers every six months and toothbrush every 6weeks won’t hurt…😆
      

Picture Culled from http://www.undershirtguy.com

#EarInfection

So I heard of a certain man who left his homeland and journeyed all the way past the evil Sahara divide, the blue ocean, flew like a wizard on a broomstick through the air to the white man’s land in search of a cure for ear infection.

What happened to all the known native medicines of our fathers and the modern  medicines practiced by those who learned at the feet of the white man? If you have no faith in our homelands’ healthcare , then countrymen like me and you, my dear reader, we should get our own visas and hop off, once we have boil infection and headache!

 

ear infection

 

P.S –  Inspired by  1) you know who..    2) that feeling you get when your ear has been talked off…

 

Wetin you wan do???

Confirmed gist… Chai na wa ooo.. Scroll and Read

Suffri and smile…

God dey…

It is well…

Na so we see am…

Make we dey look…

Baba God, na your  I dey ooo…

Who e epp…

 

These are but a few statement heard from the people of a certain country. Those people have suffered sha!

From Kidnap in the South — to abduction and assault in the North— then fulani invasion in the East — horrible robberies attack in the West.

Not to mention the horrible heat abi sun that can boil water. The lack of NEPA aka PHCN in short electricity. Water of course is a big wahala, so if the rain falls, every  bucket/pot/basin/etc is employed to catch the rain coming off the roof, forget the color, we can bleach it or just use for flushing…

To bend the already bent crayfish, Tomatoes has become gold, well one thing is certain, these people are indigenous, they have devised several ways to make stew without tomatoes.

Now the crayfish is almost bent triple! why?? ahh.. you neva hear?? Fuel na N145.. cash and carry. Official rate ni at filling stations nationwide. Their NLC was supposed to go on strike but abeg who strike without solution epp???

One more gist, NYSC for Batch A2 has been cancelled indefinitely! Can a genius tell us why???

Please, if you know this country or its citizen tell us oooo… and as acada concerned, you can sha rant or provide creative solutions to their problems.

 

Strange Words

Acada – Academician

epp – Help

NLC – Nigeria Labour Congress

Suffri – Suffering

Wahala – Problem

Wetin – What

Neva – Never

Abeg – Please

Sha – ???

abi – ???

 

PS. I will be doing a pictorial post of that particular country’s current state on the 22nd of May, 2016 or should I wait till May 30??  *undecided*

Inlaks Toastmasters

Inlaks Toastmasters

Hello You,

Yes you! you! and you!! Thank God it’s Friday.

‘Bilingual, aren’t you coming with us?’ Seyi queried. In my heart, I sighed. I really wanted to go home. My plans for the evening: buy 2 of those sweet popcorns they sell on the CMS entering 3rd Mainland Bridge. Those popcorns are simply to die for. Hopefully, beat the traffic, take a cool bath and snuggle in front of my laptop with popcorn, and coldstone ice cream. Get lost to the world for the next two hours with that film, The CEO.

But of course, Seyi had to ruin it. I had totally forgotten about Inlaks Toastmasters meet. The rest like they say, is history.

Why did I forfeit my Thursday evening for Inlaks Toastmasters(IT)? Let me tell you…

If you have had a really bad week, then be at IT. If you missed AY shows, Be at IT. If you think you stutter, Be at IT. ahh.. My grammar is cool, don’t be too sure. IT could expose that nonsense shebi… yes na.. abi na.. noo.. err.. yez pleeze.. pardin.., words we unconsciously call English language.

I laughed so hard, the first time I attended. I got to see adults crack jokes like Basketmouth, dramatize like RMD & Rita Dominic, sing like Korede Bello (they wish). It was outright funny. But I also learned how to break ice when meeting with people for the first time, (think Dale Carnegie). I learnt how to think on my feet and pay attention to Channels & CNN. I also learnt how to articulate and avoid ambiguity.

For those of you living and working in Lagos, take out the time and come see for yourself. The Inlaks Toastmasters is making me a better person socially and intellectually. What about you?

Folks outside Lagos, I didn’t desert you, just google up the toastmasters nearest to you in your state. Inlaks Toastmaster is just a chapter of Toastmasters International.

Let’s talk. Have you heard about Toastmasters? Are you a member of a chapter?

 

 

 

 

 

Just do it!

Seriously, go ahead and do it!

I am tired of hearing you say the same thing. It’s good to share your dreams and wishes. But when you keep chanting same idea for almost 9months going to 12 months, then it becomes stale and guess what? I call that – white noise.

 We are into the second quarter of the year and some folks be saying, “so Bilingual, you remember that french class I want to attend?” “Ehen, you know I told you that I wanted to lose weight, (been hearing that particular song for 2 years)”. “Did I tell you about the photography shop, I want to open?” and I respond, “yes, you did like 6months ago”. “Aahn, Bilingual, why are you sounding like this?” to which I responded, “ I sounded like that because you keep talking about it, yet do nothing and very soon you will hear that Lagbaja has opened shop, then you will feel bad and say, he stole your idea.”

 So what are you procrastinating on? P-r-o-c-a-s-t-n-a-t-i-n-g; that word, nice sounding but ugly meaning.

Go ahead, don’t say, you don’t have the capital, or you didn’t win the Tony Elumelu seed capital. Look around you and within you, there are ways that you can start doing that “thing” with little or no capital.

By the way, have you heard about, word-of-mouth? Best form of advertising and guess what? It’s free! So open ya mouth, stop gisting about wizkid & linda ikeji beef, they made the news and aint hungry but you are! Start using that gist time to sell ya market! Stop wasting data on entertainment news and latest trends. They don’t know you or your house address or bank account. Google is ya friend. Use that data and research. I no get laptop but I get phone. Use am!

Ehen, you that is reading, don’t read and form – “passing through”. Sell your market here jare. You will be pleased that you have announced yourself one more time.

  

image

Image culled from http://www.picturequotes.com

 

Knock! Knock!!

wow………

What happened here? I gaze down at the dust coated site. Where is everyone? How could they leave this site unkempt?

Ok Squad, time for action!

Quick Ink, get scribbling, and you, mouse, go scrolling!

Where is the modem? do we have data left? or did you expire without notice?

And where is the notepad? all those ideas waiting patiently to be consummated.

Who is left out? ahh, Mr Calendar, faithfully sending alerts for update and getting the silent treatment.

Don’t worry, things improving here soonest.

Catch you next week folks!

sorry smiley

 

 

 

 

Referrals!

 

referral 2

 

I’m so excited about this title! maybe because I witnessed it firsthand, I don’t know.

For folks like me into sales, it’s a powerful way of getting new clients.

For you to be referred, it means that your service or product is great. For you to be referred, it means that the referee has confidence and trust in what you do or provide.

It also helps in eliminating competition for your product or service. I also noticed that it doesn’t matter if your product or service is more expensive or cheaper than others, with referral, it becomes the preferred.

A little example here,

I wanted to get a particular brand of Samsung phone. I surfed the net and checked out several phone sites. I came across a post from one of my blog mentors and read an article where she recommended certain service providers. One of them, yeah, a phone vendor. I called him up, his line was busy. He called back, listened to  my inquiries patiently and offered suggestions where needed. In all this, I never told him who I was or who recommended him. When I was satisfied with my inquiries, I eventually told him. His selling price was N1,500 higher than  what I had seen online but I ended up buying from him. Why? he came highly recommended. And even while talking to him, he unwittingly increased my confidence in his referee and his product.

Back to ourselves, taking an introspective look at our lives, can we be recommended? Today, do one good deed; never pass up the opportunity to speak well of a person or product or service that deserves such recommendation.

 

 

 

Shhh… here comes 2016!

Have you ever been in 2016? When you lay on your bed daydreaming, what did you fantasize about 2016? While checking out latest trends, what was on your mind about 2016? Did you make new year resolutions? or did you waltz into 2016?

Much ado about 2016! it’s a new year. I have never been in Feb 2016 or even visited it, maybe in my dreams. lol!

Let’s get serious here!

What are your plans? What do you hope to do differently? What do you intend to change? What do you want to stop? Where do you want to go? Who do you want to see in 2016? What do you want to have in 2016?

C’mon friends, let’s get our thinking caps on, let’s follow through on half finished thoughts and actions. Let walk our talk!

I have been visiting sites, people i secretly look to as my online mentors. I gobble up their words each time I visit, I can feel their excitement, it’s very infectious. I have decided to blog better! write better! in fact do everything better in 2016!

What about you?

2016

 

 

 

Cliché – Change

Right now, that’s a popular word in Nigeria but like we always say, “Change is the only Constant”.

We have been awol for a long while. We are back and we hope that you have noticed the progressive changes made on the blog.

Don’t be surprised, we have changed our address to :- https://bilingualmoi.wordpress.com

You like?

We promise to be more regular and deliver quality and concise content.

Change is indeed good
Change is the only constant